The Journey Towards Resilience
by, Kate Henkel, Instructional Coach
Resilience is a word we hear more and more often in today’s society. Merriam-Webster’s
dictionary defines resilience as “tending to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or
change” (2019).
dictionary defines resilience as “tending to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or
change” (2019).
In an ever-changing and demanding 21st century, ensuring children have the capacity for
resilience is absolutely essential. I recently attended a Neufeld Institute Conference titled
Resilience, Relationship and Recovery - Towards Flourishing Children and Youth where
the concept of resilience was explored through the lens of Dr. Gordon Neufeld.
resilience is absolutely essential. I recently attended a Neufeld Institute Conference titled
Resilience, Relationship and Recovery - Towards Flourishing Children and Youth where
the concept of resilience was explored through the lens of Dr. Gordon Neufeld.
Neufeld is the founder of the Neufeld Institute, and is a leader in child developmental
psychology. He questions the societal trend which categorizes resilience as a
stress-based response based on performance rather than optimal functioning. In other
words, we commonly assess how resilient someone is based on whether they are able to
perform under stressful conditions. Neufeld asks us to consider a different construct of
resilience whereby an individual is able to reach his or her optimal potential as opposed
to simply performing or going through the motions of living.
psychology. He questions the societal trend which categorizes resilience as a
stress-based response based on performance rather than optimal functioning. In other
words, we commonly assess how resilient someone is based on whether they are able to
perform under stressful conditions. Neufeld asks us to consider a different construct of
resilience whereby an individual is able to reach his or her optimal potential as opposed
to simply performing or going through the motions of living.
Relationships Matter - Strong Alpha Adults are essential in the lives of youth and children.
The central component to Neufeld’s theory of resilience is the importance of a strong alpha
adult in every child’s life in order to serve as a compass point (Neufeld, 2018); providing
unconditional love, support and guidance at every step. One of Dr. Neufeld’s greatest fears
is that increasingly, children are taking their behavioural cues from interactions with peers,
rather than from adults who, by our very nature as humans, are meant to support, and
guide children as they progress through the developmental stages. Neufeld speaks to the
importance of children being able to work through their feelings in a supportive and safe
environment in order to develop to their full potential. For this to happen the following 3
basic conditions must be present in a child’s life:
adult in every child’s life in order to serve as a compass point (Neufeld, 2018); providing
unconditional love, support and guidance at every step. One of Dr. Neufeld’s greatest fears
is that increasingly, children are taking their behavioural cues from interactions with peers,
rather than from adults who, by our very nature as humans, are meant to support, and
guide children as they progress through the developmental stages. Neufeld speaks to the
importance of children being able to work through their feelings in a supportive and safe
environment in order to develop to their full potential. For this to happen the following 3
basic conditions must be present in a child’s life:
playfulness - opportunities to escape and unwind such as music, art and games
restfulness - moments of peace and solitude in a quiet, safe place such as a natural area in
a playground or a quiet reading corner
a playground or a quiet reading corner
feelingfulness (Neufeld, 2018) - opportunities which allow students to connect with their
feelings such as sharing circles, and other safe spaces with trusted adults for showing and
sharing feelings
feelings such as sharing circles, and other safe spaces with trusted adults for showing and
sharing feelings
So, what does all of this mean for educators and how can Neufeld’s theory inform our
practice?
practice?
It’s no secret that educators are on the front lines as we continue to lead our youth into the
21st century. There is an enormous responsibility to ensure that we prepare our students to
be lifelong learners, and contributing members of society. This sounds daunting, but as
educators, we are naturally caring individuals. We are well positioned to support students on
their journey towards resilience which will create a strong foundation for them to build future
success.
21st century. There is an enormous responsibility to ensure that we prepare our students to
be lifelong learners, and contributing members of society. This sounds daunting, but as
educators, we are naturally caring individuals. We are well positioned to support students on
their journey towards resilience which will create a strong foundation for them to build future
success.
What we have to do is be mindful of the influence we have in shaping a child’s journey
towards resilience, and design learning environments which foster the development of
strong relationships with our students. Some simple strategies to consider include:
towards resilience, and design learning environments which foster the development of
strong relationships with our students. Some simple strategies to consider include:
- Greeting students at the door to your room prior to the beginning of every class
- Taking the time to engage with all students about important events in their lives and following up from previous conversations. “How was your game/test/interview?”
- Sharing/Talking Circles
- Inviting parents and grandparents into the classroom
- Maintaining ongoing communication with parents and guardians via phone calls and email
- Leading and/or attending school-based extra-curricular activities
Remember that as trusted educators, we are in a position where the relationships we
build with students, and the opportunities we create for playfulness, restfulness and
feelingfulness will have a significant impact in a child’s ability to be resilient.
build with students, and the opportunities we create for playfulness, restfulness and
feelingfulness will have a significant impact in a child’s ability to be resilient.
References
Neufeld, G. (2018).: Proceedings from A Neufeld Institute Conference: Resilience,
Recovery and Relationship: Towards Flourishing Children and Youth. MB,
Winnipeg.
Resilience. (2019). In Merriam-Webster Dictionary online. Retrieved from
